::To everyone’s surprise, Fat Cat walks out to deliver the next award. He is dressed in a tux, and looking spiffy::
Fat Cat: Why all these gasps of shock and awe? After all, I am a part of why all of you are here. Without moi, you would have no celebrated Rangers or Rangerphiles. So I felt it my task, nay my duty, to be here. And what better award for me to proffer than the Best Satire award?
::Fat Cat brings out a pair of spectacles from his tux’s inner pocket as the names of the nominees appear on the big screen behind him. He opens a large dictionary on the podium::
Fat Cat: Satire began with the ancient Romans, who learned to use verse commentaries containing irony or caustic wit to criticize and ridicule what they saw as either vice or folly. Today, it’s used whenever any injustice is perceived. Now, let’s see who our nominees are in this unique literary form…
- “Who Wants Cake?”, Stitch
- “The Day RR Was Done”, Indy
Fat Cat: Ah, now there’s irony for you, good people. One criticizes Disney, while the other criticizes the criticizer. Now, let’s see who won, shall we?
::Fat Cat opens the envelope, a smile slowly forming on his
Fat Cat: A close vote…a close vote indeed, but it’s Stitch by a satiric hair!
::Stitch steps up to the microphone and folds his paws together::
Stitch: This story was written in protest of a tremendously misguided policy; a paranoid and reactionary rule based on misperception, which cloaks itself in a tattered gauze of ostensibly ‘good’ intentions. To ban all gay subject matter, regardless of context, is to marginalize the hearts and minds of an entire segment of the fandom. Stigmatizing love simply because of whom it is aimed at is as meaningless a gesture as banning strawberry cake. I would gladly welcome the obsolescence of this story by the retiring of the policy which inspired it. Thank you.
::There is a scattering of handclaps in the audience, but
mostly confused mutters as Stitch leaves the podium and the stage with his
award. Fat Cat assumes the podium again::
Fat Cat: Well, wasn’t that nice. Good evening everyone!
::Fat Cat laughs to himself as he leaves the stage, but not because of the award::