::With a Texas war whoop and “Deep in the Heart of Texas”
playing in the background, Uncle Bedivere Fairmont charges out on stage in his
chaps, vest, bandana and ten-gallon hat. He waves the hat around::
::The audience gives a “Yee-haw” back and Bedivere flies up to the podium::
Bedivere: Well, like my pappy Gallopin’ Gawain Fairmont used to say, when you find a crowd you’d better make the most of it! I’m right pleased to be here with all y’all tonight, and to present this here award for Best Costuming. Being a Texas prairie bat, I know the value of dressing right, and it don’t hurt to look good while you’re doing it…
::Bedivere takes off his hat and slicks back his head fur
some as the nominees come up on the big screen::
Bedivere: For this year, the nominees are:
- “Oni” Winifred’s outfit, “The Return of Winifred”, Jin
- Bald Gadget from “Of Mice and Mayhem”, Fish
::Bedivere receives the envelope, whereupon he promptly pulls out a big red pepper from his vest pocket::
Bedivere: Kids, don’t try this at home…
::Bedivere chews up the pepper and swallows, waiting a
moment. Then he brings the envelope up near his mouth and fire shoots out as he
expertly burns the top off the envelope without harming the rest of it::
Bedivere: It comes in real handy around tax time!
::The audience laughs and Bedivere pulls the card out of the
Bedivere: We’ve got a winner and his name is Fish for “Bald Gadget”!
::The growing number of audience members with makeshift “Fish flags” wave them and chant. Fish comes up to the podium again, giving Bedivere a slap on the wing. Gadget comes up as well, speaking first::
Gadget: Hi, uhhm--thanks--I guess--but I wasn’t really “bald,” just without my head hair. I still had head fur, you know.
::Gadget begins looking around::
Gadget: Well..where’s my speech?..oh yes..lavender jumper- left pocket--oohhhh shoot--I’m not wearing that tonight. I’ll have to improvise--lessee--to improvise--etymology: French <I>improviser</I>, from Italian <I>improvvisare</I>, from <I>improvviso</I> sudden, from Latin <I>improvisus</I>--to compose, recite, play, or sing extemporaneously, to make, invent, or arrange offhand, to fabricate out of what is conveniently on hand--hey, that’s me!! What was the question?
Bedivere: In the interest of time, Fish will finish up.
Fish: It all started with a pic I did of Gadj without her hair, wearing nothin’ but the black sweater and holding a dart upright in one hand with the other placed squarely on her hip. She was glaring straight into my eyes as if saying, “This is how it is now, what are YOU going to do about it?”
I had no idea why I drew it, but I did. What on earth happened to Gadget to make her bald with a black turtleneck? Did she join some cult? Become an activist in the Pound Underground in Paris? Have a double appearance to make at the “Star Trek the Motion Picture Convention” and the “Avengers Costume Ball?”
The story kind of evolved around the look, I hate to say. But, hey whatever works! So here’s to bald Gadget!
::Gadget and Fish wave to the audience, Gadget still searching for her speech. Bedivere whoops at the audience again and heads offstage::