Rookie of the year presentation:
::Only a little off-cue, Ray Jones rushes out to the podium. He raises his head to look around at everybody.
Ray: Okay, folks and folkettes, Indy tells me we are ready for the presentation of the next award! This time, we are going to announce our "Rookie of the Year". This is the person who first introduced himself or herself during the last year and has made the biggest contribution, delivered the greatest impact, or otherwise stirred up the most hornets of all our newcomers.
::Several Rangerphiles in the audience exchange smiles::
Ray: Now let me emphasize that all our newbies are equally welcome! We value every new friend and fellow Rangerphile who comes into the Cafe. You don't have to be a great artist or a brilliant writer, or even a professional programmer. All contributions are appreciated, but no matter your background, whether you're an old coot or a kid, a PhD or can barely type, anyone, anywhere on Earth—if you like the Rescue Rangers and you want to be a friend in a group of fellow fans, then there is a chair and a table for you here. Even if you just want to lurk, to sit unseen in the shadowy booths around the walls, you are still welcome.
::A hearty round of applause follows::
Ray: But we humans are competitive creatures, so we need to give out awards. And we do want to encourage everyone to contribute something. You don't HAVE to contribute anything to be welcome here, of course, but you might surprise yourself and uncover some talent you didn't know you had. I don't think you will find a more sympathetic and supportive audience for your efforts.
::From offstage left, a figure waves and Ray notices him out of the corner of his eye::
Ray: Yes, Indy, I know we need to move along. May I have the envelope please!
::Ray looks straight up. Monterey Jack, clutching the envelope, is lowered down from above stage by a string tied around his waist::
Monty: I don't suppose you blokes could have come up with a MORE bloody undignified way to do this!
::The crowd laughs, many of them rolling in the aisles. Dale slaps Chip’s back, knocking him over. Ray takes the envelope::
Ray: Thanks, Monty.
::Monty, arms folded across his chest, twists slowly on the end of the string. Ray stifles his own laughter and returns to the matter at hand::
Ray: And the winner IS….Rennod!
::Rennod, who is standing next to Indy offstage, is caught flat-footed. He hears the crowd applauding, but is so surprised that his feet won’t obey his brain’s orders to move. Indy gives him a good shove in the back and pushes him on stage. Rennod stumbles out, then regains his balance and Ray shakes his hand, guiding him to the podium and giving him the award. Rennod looks out on his applauding peers and can think of but one thing to say::
Rennod: Oh, my God!
::The crowd roars back, cheering him on::
Rennod: Thank you! Thank you all! Golly—I mean, wow.
::Rennod has to lean against the podium to recover, and the audience quiets down to let him do it::
Rennod: This ... this is just ... *whew*
::The audience laughs, enjoying the moment with him::
Rennod: I—I can't believe it! This just means so much to me. It really does. I mean it. It's been a ... a really...exciting...first year here in the Rangerphile community. I've enjoyed my time here so far, and hope it's just as great for many more years. A lot's happened since I came forward and announced myself, and I'm sure there's a lot more to come. It's just a sheer...joy...and a real big rush to get this honor. Thanks—many, many thanks—to all of you.
::Indy walks out and puts and arm around his friend’s shoulder::
Indy: This guy did so much work putting this shindig together, that it alone makes him worthy of this honor. I couldn’t have done it by myself—he did all the work on the nomination and voting procedures, gathering the ballots, counting them and verifying the winners, and so much more. He also contacted all the winners and forwarded their acceptances on to me. Rennod, you’re one swell guy.
::The crowd fills the room with cheers and whistling, and Rennod takes his award and heads off—the wrong way. Ray comes to the rescue and steers him back in the right direction before heading off himself::