::Backstage, a very nervous mouse takes a long swig of water, straightens his plain and patched red shirt, and walks onto the stage looking much calmer than he feels. The audience falls silent as Great steps before them—they had not known that SomeGhol could change shape. Moving behind the podium, Great takes a deep breath and takes a glance at his note card before addressing the audience::
Great: As you all know, just a little over a year ago our own Indy introduced an entertaining little contest that made use of Pictures taken from the Rescue Rangers Television show…and the contestants’ own creativity. It is certainly no coincidence that the Captions were left blank, what with televisions early history of soundless….
::Great looks at the card with SomeGhol’s presentation for a moment, flips it over once, and snorts. He skims the card to himself, out-loud, next to the microphone so the audience can hear him::
Great: Good Lord, it goes on and on…oh, well. Each an exercise in originality, witty humor, creativity, and overall effect on the viewer...
::Shaking his head sadly, Great pitches the card over his shoulder and smiles at the audience::
Great: Look, I don’t know what a television show, caption, OR a Rescue Ranger is, but I do know it’s late as all gitout, and y’all probably wan’a get on home, so what do you say to me just telling you who the winner is, and trust them to toot their own horn when they accept the award?
::This receives a resounding applause, because it is, in fact, late as all gitout. Great smiles, reaches into one of the many sewn-on pockets on his shirt and withdraws a white envelope::
Great: Well, let’s find out who the lucky winner is then!
::He uses a claw to open the envelope, and takes out the folded piece of paper, smiling to himself as he reads::
Great: It’s a good thing I was here instead of Redding, Folks! I give you the winner of the Best Caption award! And the Winner is—well, we’ve got a tie! The winners are Loneheart and Rennod for “Tammy Puckering Up”, John “Q” Davidson for “Holodeck Malfunction”, and Rennod again for “Speechless for Deborah”.
::The crowd applauds then Great signals for silence::
Great: And here to pick up Loneheart’s award is Tammy herself!
::There is a drum roll and the spotlight picks out the red headed teenager as she walks onto the stage in a long, sparkling blue evening dress. Somewhere a mother's heart is breaking, because her little girl is all grown up. Tammy waits for the applause to die down::
Tammy: Thank you. That was such a lovely welcome, it makes me wish I could stay the whole night, but I have to be back home by curfew so I can be in bed by ten. Honestly, I could have just strangled Bink for taking that picture of me when I was day-dreaming about – uh, I mean, uh, about the time I got my lips stuck to the basketball post one winter at school! Yeah, that's what I was thinking about!
::Tammy blushes pink through her fur, and the giggles spread throughout the audience. From the back of the hall a lone voice that sounds suspiciously like Dale’s snickers, "Yeah, right!" A hollow bonk rings out from that part of the room and Tammy grins broadly::
Tammy: Thank you.
::She says it with a cooing sweetness, as though someone has just given her flowers::
Tammy: Anyhow, this award is sort of a dead-heat. As you just heard, several people did very well with their captions, and they all deserve this award as much as I do – uh, as much as Loneheart does! So I think that it's only fitting that everyone has agreed to share it.
::When the audience stops applauding, she mutters out of the side of her mouth, "Boy, I sure hope that means I get at least a small piece of it to show off." The audience laughs::
Tammy (earnestly, grinning): I even brought my own hacksaw!
::The laughter becomes slightly embarrassed and uneasy::
Tammy: I've been asked to say a special thank-you from everyone who's enjoyed playing the Weekly Picture Caption game, to Indy, Acorn Café maintainer and die hard ranger-fan!"
::Applause fills the auditorium, and Indy stands up, waving to the crowd as the spotlight falls on his seat. He sits down, then Rennod joins Tammy at the podium, receiving two awards—one for his collaboration with Loneheart and the other for his solo work::
Rennod: Ever since I started playing in Indy's weekly caption contest, I've had several winning captions and quite a few 'almost made it' entries. I'm pretty proud of that. Lately, more and more Rangerphiles have gotten involved, and the competition is a lot stronger than it was when I first started. I think that's a good thing, but it sure makes it tough on me to produce a winner these days. This award is for one that I'm proud to have won, the tribute picture to Deborah Walley on the anniversary of her passing. I'm glad the sentiment was appreciated, truly, but somehow I wish the award had been merited by a caption for something a little more humorous than that somber occasion. Still, I give my gratitude to the Rangerphiles that voted for this caption. Thank you.
::More applause, then John walks up on stage wearing a Starfleet dress uniform::
John: Best Caption, wow what an honor! And for such an off the wall one also. The inspiration for this one must have been way too much Pepsi and Pizza, and Star Trek of course.
::The audience laughs, particularly the writers in the audience::
John: When I first saw the picture, the first thing that popped into my head was that Data also liked to dress up as Sherlock Holmes. So then I tried to think of something Trek-related to do. And then I saw the “Will” and it came to me. It was so off the wall and so goofy I just had to submit it! Thank you all once again.
::John walks back to his seat where Commander Will Riker is sitting::
Riker: I can’t believe you won making fun of me!
John: Don’t take it personally. Tell you what, I’ll make it up to you.
John: Well, after the ceremony is over I know this little place across town where the women are so….
::Riker’s eyes light up and he grins::
Riker: I know the place.