Dr. Batorious (announcing): And to award the Golden Acorn for Best Action/Adventure we have...Pinky and the Brain?

 

::Two white lab mice come out, much to the confusion of the crowd. They walk behind the podium::

 

Brain: Greetings, Rangerphiles. You know my assistant Pinky and myself quite well, I trust. Some of you are aware that we appeared in a crossover with your esteemed Rangers. I am informed that Indy and Chris Silva have written several other crossover adventures with us that will appear in the near future. So, we are here as invited crossover guests to present the next award. Isn’t that right, Pinky?

 

Pinky:  Right, Brain! Narf!  I'd like to thank the Academy for this Oscar for best director; it was hard work, but it was worth the effort.

 

Brain: No Pinky, we're here to *present* the award. And it’s an Acorn, not an Oscar.

 

Pinky: The acorn’s named Oscar?

 

Brain: No Pinky, the acorn’s named…that is, the Oscar’s named…oh, forget it!

 

Pinky: Okay Brain, I’ve forgotten everything. Uh, what is it we’re doing here again?

 

::Brain looks at the shiny gold trophy, and his eyes light up in inspiration::

 

Brain: Of course! If I could win an award that garnished me this kind of acclaim, I'd have international standing! People would be calling me from everywhere to do 30-minute infomercials. Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

 

Pinky:  I think so, Brain, but wouldn't people like to win awards that feature the rest of the cast of the Odd Couple? 

 

Brain: Your predilection for viewing televised twaddle amazes me, Pinky. No, I speak of glory and fame that will allow me to rise to power, and then I will TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

 

::Brain looks out into the audience, who doesn't seem very impressed. In fact, several of the more power-hungry souls are positively growling::

 

Brain: Okay, moving right along. The nominees for tonight's award are...

 

Claw&Antler: Small Animals Unit -- Small Town Heroes, by Rennod

Once Upon A Dream, by Loki

Ready... Aim... FIRE!!!, by Morgan Kohl

Reservation Dogs, by KS

Sovereign, by John Nowak

The Times of Their Lives, by Indy

 

Pinky:  Elvis Presley for best hair and Pat Buttram for lifetime achievement!

 

Brain: Truly, you have a touch on the heartbeat of popular culture. Hand me the envelope, Pinky.

 

::Pinky hands him an envelope::

 

Pinky:  Here you go, Brain.  Look, Ed McMahon says you may already be a winner!

 

Brain: I hardly think that encouraging. Now, to identify the winner!

 

::Brain opens the envelope::

 

Brain: Our winner is Indy, for Times of Their Lives!

 

Pinky:  Whose lives, Brain?

 

Brain: Happier ones than ours, Pinky.

 

::The music from “Raiders” plays, but it isn’t Indy that comes out. It’s Basil of Baker Street, replete in his deerstalker hat and Inverness cape. The crowd applauds approvingly, and Basil nods gentlemanlike as he approaches the podium, then removes his hat and bows::

 

Basil: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Indy asked me to accept this award on his behalf, since I was partly responsible for the story’s inspiration. He told me that he’d wanted to write a story that combined the Rangers and myself on an epic scale, and with a few happy accidents he achieved the grand story that you all know.

 

::The crowd applauds again, and Basil signals for silence::

Basil: The challenge was certainly a great one—a villain every bit as dangerous as the odious Professor Ratigan, who used time itself as a weapon. I must confess, his reappearance at this ceremony brought back some rather unpleasant memories. I’ll never forget seeing those giant robots built in his image, razing the town. It makes me glad to know that such heroes as the Rangers are around, keeping the peace.

 

::The Rangers stand up at Basil’s insistence, generating a long round of clapping from the crowd::

Basil: And rest assured, my friends. If this nefarious fellow tries to undo what we have done, I will not rest until whatever evil scheme he has is brought to naught! Thank you, one and all!

 

::The crowd stands, cheering Basil off the stage as he carries off the award. Pinky and the Brain watch as Basil leaves, then the Brain faces the cameras::

 

Brain: Elect me as your only leader, and I will rule with a wise and knowing hand!

 

Pinky:  But wouldn't ruling with a wise and knowing brain work better?  I mean, you've always told me you have more brains in your little finger than I have in my head, but you'd probably need a lot more brains than could fit in all 8 fingers combined.

 

::Brain gives a "why me" look to the cameras and trots off the stage. Pinky makes a few silly faces and runs off as well::