::An older but handsome chipmunk comes out on the stage to the tune of “Hunt For Red October”, dressed in a tux. His rugged features catch the attention of the ladies, and he grins boyishly. Sean Maplewood, Chip’s grandfather from “The Untold Ranger Tales”, takes the podium. His voice sounds just like Sean Connery’s—go figure::
Sean: Good evening. As the conductor of the New York Philharmonic Animal Orchestra, I spent many days in front of crowds like these. But at no time was I more pleased than I am now, to stand here before you all, you august company, and present the award for Best Original Female Character.
::Part of the crowd applauds, mostly the girls::
Sean: For a character to win such an award, she must stand out as being as cognitively complex as any of the Rangers are. She must possess a life of her own, and her life must heavily influence those around her. We the audience should be able to ‘see her thinking’ and predict her actions and reactions. And above all, we must be able to like and dislike her. So, let’s see how our nominees are…
Agnes Oakmont, by Indy & Chris Silva
Doohickey "Dee" Hawkfeather, by KS, from Reservation Dogs, and The Ties That Bind
Liddy Rose, by Rosey Collins
Mademanna, by 8-Bit Star
Raven Southmont, by KS, from The Ties That Bind
Sean: And now, the winner…
::Sean opens the envelope with flourish::
Sean: Dee Hawkfeather!
::A well dressed human in glasses, his blond hair tied back in a pony tail, makes his way to the stage followed by a female mouse who bears a striking resemblance to Gadget, except she is much darker. Sean meets her at stage left, kissing her hand and leading her onstage. After walking to the podium, Kevin accepts the Golden Acorn as Doohickey immediately monopolizes the microphone::
Dee: You like me!
::Dee is absolutely gleeful, still dressed in her requisite black jumpsuit, a gold ornamental sprocket in her black hair being the only concession to the special occasion::
Dee: You really, really like me!
::Seeing her writer take hold of the microphone she stands aside slightly::
KS: Many <I>nya:wehs</I> to you all for this award. It’s wonderful to know that Dee wasn’t seen as just another Gadget knock-off, and all I had to do was break her leg, crush her spine, impale her and subject her to soul crushing angst.
::Dee leans in, smiling::
Dee: He’s promised not to do any of those things to me in the current fanfic.
KS: Which I don’t have to. I gave you more personality than that, and I’m sure that’s the real reason we’re here.
::Dee, still smiling, leans in again::
Dee: I don’t believe him. He’s planning to kill me, I know it.
KS (also still smiling): Now that’s just absurd. I have wonderful things planned for you in the next few stories, not the least of which being your wedding!
::Dee was clearly enjoying herself now::
Dee: Then it’s ‘light’s out’ for me. My days are numbered!
KS: Again, thanks to everyone who made this possible!
::Putting a hand behind Dee, he proceeds to leave the podium with her...then she grabbed the podium. Some of the audience members start to giggle::
Dee: Don’t leave me alone with him! He’s a madman!
::As KS grabs her around her waist and begins to drag her away, she continues clinging desperately to the podium. General laughter breaks out::
Dee: Write Amnesty—
::KS yanks at his character::
::He yanks at her again::
Dee: House of—
::His third yank pulls her loose::
::KS carries her off, to the laughter and applause of the audience. Sean recovers from laughing himself, and then nods and walks off, “Red October” playing again::