::Neobat walks onto the stage and takes his place at the podium. Smiling, he looks out into the audience as the applause dies down::
Neobat: When I was approached to be a presenter at these ceremonies I immediately thought to myself that these guys must really be desperate to be asking me to do this. Be that as it may, I’ve decided to let two of my friends help me out on this. So without further ado I’d like to introduce Alicia Ravencroft and Alexander Fairmont.
::From stage right a large albino neobat swoops in and lands atop the podium. Looking out at the assemblage she smiles broadly while stealing a wave at her friends, The Rescue Rangers, who are seated front row center::
Neobat: Hello, Alicia. I must say you look absolutely stunning this evening.
Alicia: What? This old thing? Oh, it’s just something I threw on.
Neobat: Well, I like the way it landed on you then.
::Then as if struck by the same thought both presenters look stage left. The albino she-bat places her hands on her hips and sucks her teeth::
Neobat: Where the heck is that boyfriend of yours, Alicia?
Alicia: Darned if I know. He was here a few minutes ago.
Neobat: Wait, I see him up in the light rigging.
Alicia: Hey Alex, get your butt down here, you crazy night flyer!
::From out of the rigging at stage left an even larger, reddish-brown neo bat glides in and lands on the podium with a thud::
Alicia: Alexander P. Fairmont, where the heck were you? Honestly I can’t leave you alone for a minute!
Alex: Sorry Lishi, but I got held up by a couple of security rodents backstage.
Neobat: Small wonder.
Neobat: Really Alex, you’re wearing your body armor! This is supposed to be a formal event.
Alex: Hey, I’m wearing my gold ear tag here! I don’t get much more formal than that.
::The big neo bat looks out at the audience and smiles. He turns back to Neobat::
Alex: This feels really weird.
Neobat: How so?
Alex: This is the first time I’ve been faced with this many people and they aren’t trying to kill me.
::The crowd erupts with laughter::
Neobat: Well, that may be but let’s get on with this. Will you two do the honors and read off the list of nominees?
Alex: Not a problem, big guy….in the category of Best “Moment” in a Fanfic (Any Type, Brief), the nominees are…
Alicia: A human nearly cracks the secret of the animal world, by Matt Plotecher, from “Payback”.
Alex: Chip pays the price for losing his bet with Gadget, by Dave White, from “The Bikini Break”.
Alicia: Dale and Clarice at The Nutshell, by The J.A.M., from “Death of a Comedian”.
Alex: Dale and Foxglove’s “blackout” scene, by The J.A.M., from “Death of a Comedian”.
Alicia: Dale argues with all the Rescue Rangers, by Indy and Chris Silva, from “The Day Dale Became Smart”.
Alex: Gadget discovers Dale’s lair, they fall in love, by Indy and Chris Silva, from “The Untold Ranger Tales”.
Neobat: And the winner is…oh, we’ve got a tie, folks! The winners are Dave White, for Chip pays the price and The J.A.M. for Dale and Foxy’s “blackout”.
::Now, Dale and Foxglove precede the jaguar, who is hollering once more his victory cry, as the band now plays “Total Eclipse Of The Heart”. At the stage, the couple takes their awards, and the jaguar stands behind them with his award::
Dale: Zowie! Thanks everyone!!
::The audience cheers, but then hushes as a somber expression comes over the couple. Foxglove speaks up now::
Foxy: That—that experience was the deepest I’ve ever been through—I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else—not if that was what was needed to bring in the final reckoning.
Dale: And—also—well, everything that led up to it was overwhelming—
::He smiles again::
Dale: But it sure was worth it at the end, wasn’t it, Foxy?
::The bat lady smiles too::
Foxy: Oh, it sure was, Cute Stuff!! Ultimate Darkness led to Ultimate Light!!
Dale: Not to mention a laugh or two!
::The couple stands aside and lets the jaguar speak::
J.A.M.: Golly, TWO nominations here!! Thanks to Roy Neal Grissom for letting me expand on Foxglove’s original ‘blackout’ scene in his story, ‘Consummation’, and for providing vital information about the Hebrew language, which played a huge part in that scene. ¡Gracias otra vez!
::The couple steps up again::
Dale and Foxy: Thank you all for voting!!
::The audience stands and cheers wildly as the three leave the stage. Neobat checks the envelope again::
Neobat: Wait, there should be one more…
::There is the soft KRUMPH of an explosive charge from above the stage and a shower of ceiling plaster that makes Neobat flinch. A pair of rappelling ropes drops down, and a tuxedo-clad Gary and Gordon make their entrance with the rappelling ropes once again, to the adulation of the crowd::
::Gary steps to the microphone::
Gary: On behalf of our writer, Dave White, we'd like to thank the members of the Acorn Cafe, the readers, and Indy and Rennod for this wonderful, and unexpected, honor. We thank you all very humbly and very, very much.
::Neobat prepares to hand them the award, when Gadget comes running up::
::Neobat looks confused as Gadget rushes up on stage::
Gadget: Dave asked me to give out the award if he won. Is that okay?
Neobat: Sure thing, Gadget!
Gadget: Okay guys, come get your award!
::Gary and Gordon accept the award graciously from Gadget, each smooching her on one cheek. Gadget giggles and they start heading off the stage with her. She links arms with her two scruffy friends and leads them towards the buffet table::
Gary: Are you sure you don't need to be rescued?
::Gadget pauses, thinking a moment::
Gadget: Maybe from the press conference…
Gordon (winking): Gotcha.
Dr. Batorious (announcing): When the Written awards return, we’ll have the winners for Best Original Female and Male characters, as well as Best Imagery and Action Sequence. The Golden Acorn Awards will be right back!