::The audience cheers as the stage is cleared, but nothing happens::

::UNWARP!!!::

::Suddenly, a puff of smoke explodes behind the podium, and when the smoke clears, there is a Mexican jaguar standing there, and the band begins to play “El Son De La Negra”. Naturally, the audience claps again. He is dressed in a formal black *charro* suit, which still had the “Hecho en
Mexico” seal in front, and “Calidad: EXPORTABLE” in the back, as well as a sombrero. He pads up to the podium and speaks::

J.A.M.: Good evening. Does anyone know where the local U-Haul place is? We need a bigger truck!

::The audience laughs as the spotlight shifts to the mountain of trophies at The J.A.M.’s seat. He looks at the audience for a bit and continues::

J.A.M.: Thank you, Kirby and Muldoon, and thank you all.

::As he speaks, the giant screen on the stage reads, WEB SITE AWARDS: BEST WEB SITE CONTENT::

J.A.M.: Today, practically anyone can put up a website about the Rescue Rangers, and put in
it art, fanfics, general thoughts, or what have you. But what *really* counts is the *quality* of what is in that website. The data submitted must meet a rigorous set of requirements *besides* being carefully studied and analyzed, and then submitted to the website in a perfect presentation. The nominees for Best Web Site Content are:

::The screen shows shots of the nominees as they are mentioned::

J.A.M.: ‘Foxglove Feature’, by Jaleel Beck.

::The audience cheers as Jaleel smiles::

J.A.M.: ‘Indy’s Ranger Museum’, by Steven ‘Indy’ Hamrick.

::Louder cheering, as the fedora-clad maintainer smiles::

J.A.M.: ‘Kat’s Gadget Hackwrench Page’, by Karen ‘Kat’ Mollet.

::More cheering as the cat-eared human smiles::

J.A.M.: ‘Tales From the Messageboards’, also by Karen ‘Kat’ Mollet.

::Even more cheering::

J.A.M.: ‘RR Database’, by Matt Plotecher.

::Still more cheering::

J.A.M.: And, ‘The Acorn Café’, by Steven ‘Indy’ Hamrick, Julie Bihn, and Steve C.

::The jaguar waits for the audience to hush, and then he takes the envelope and slashes it open with an extended index claw::

J.A.M.: And the winner is…

::He reads the envelope, and suddenly roars::

J.A.M.: MATTH—YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW…PLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—TECHER!!!!!!

::McDugell enters from stage left and tromps up the podium. He doesn’t look as ecstatic as most of the other presenters, and makes no effort to dissuade this notion::

McDugell: For Matt, I say thanks for the award. See ya.

::He turns and leaves, and the jaguar watches him go::

J.A.M.: Guess he was ready to get back to the buffet…

::The audience chuckles as the preparations are made for the next award::