::The main theme from “James Bond” begins and a tall and a fashionable French female mouse comes out wearing a sparkling green evening gown with a split that shows off her legs and a V-neck that shows off a little more. Some of the guys cheer and clap, but their dates soon put a stop to that. Desiree de Lure, the French femme fatale who duped Monterey Jack in the episode “Love Is a Many Splintered Thing” takes the podium demurely::
Desiree: Bon soir, and I am enchanteé to be here with you tonight. Monsieur Capone wanted to present this award as well, but I am informed he is on his way now to another kind of presentation.
::The crowd laughs, and Desiree grins::
Desiree: So, bien, it falls to me to present the award for Best Original Villain. I wish my Errol could have been here to help, but ever since the episode in the airport he has not been quite, how do you say, the same. He is in a padded room at home, watching even now. Sweet dreams, Errol!
::Desiree picks up the card in front of her::
Desiree: The nominees are. Un moment, there is but one. Strigidæ, by The J.A.M., from Death of a Comedian.
::Desiree suddenly appears worried::
Desiree: Oh, that is an owl, n’est ce pas?
::Someone in the audience tells her yes. Desiree begins
backing off the stage::
Desiree: J.A.M., it’s all yours! Au revoir!
::Here, the jaguar doesn’t holler or chant, but calmly pads down to the stage as the band plays “Just Another Day”. Once at the podium, he speaks::
J.A.M.: Well, that was kinda predictable, wasn’t it? Not much point in being the only nominee. Where are all the other—
::The jaguar defensively disappears. The owl lady perches on top of the podium, and hoots ominously::
Strigidæ: No, you’re not seeing things. I, STRIGIDÆ, AM STILL ALIVE!! A HA HA HA HA!!!!
::She calms down for a moment, and speaks a bit more calmly::
Strigidæ: You wouldn’t BELIEVE the lines there are to the Ladies’ Room!!
::Few in the audience chuckle, and she continues::
Strigidæ: That is, in ‘I Dream Of The New Ranger’, I’m still alive—and I’m alive thanks to multiple timelines and alternate universes, and thanks to Michael ‘Questy’ Demcio’s Ivana M. Killjoy, for the inspiration of me being *female*, and thanks to suggestions from Roy Neal Grissom and Aivars Liepa. So sleep with one eye open, Rangers!! There *might* be more of me where I came from, A HA HA HA HA!! STRIGIDÆEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
::As suddenly as she arrives, the owl lady leaves::
::And the jaguar returns to the land of the visible::
J.A.M.: Um, what she said. I suppose she was the ultimate in villainy since Ivana M. Killjoy, since she can’t be reasoned with or subdued effectively, much less confined for a prolonged period of time, and hence there really wasn’t that much competition.
::Seeing the audience was barely recovering, he simply takes his flag and leaves the stage::
J.A.M.: ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO…!!!
::Off-stage, Desiree gets up, shaken from being so close to the deadly bird::
Desire: Well, at least NOW someone else can get into the ladies’ room!