::The music from “Hunt For Red October” begins to play, and an octopus in a sailor’s cap comes out on stage wearing diving helmet filled with water and carrying a fish bowl. In the bowl is a fish, wearing a captain’s hat. Yes, it’s the notorious Captain Finn and his trusty right arms, All Hands. All Hands places Finn’s bowl on the podium and brings the microphone near to the bowl’s rim. Finn crawls up to the rim, putting his fins over the rim to hold himself in place::
Finn: As you can see, air breathers, we are still alive.
::Finn dips back down into the bowl, a practice he has to keep up after every sentence he says. The fish re-emerges::
Finn: I have mellowed somewhat in my views, but I still think that air breathers should have more respect for those of us that inhabit the sea. Nonetheless, let us put hard feelings of the past aside. I am here to announce the nominees for Best Moment in a Fanfiction. All Hands!
All Hands: Yes, sir! Right away, captain, sir!
::All Hands procures the list of nominees and holds it up for the captain to read::
Finn: And the nominees are:
Dale & Foxglove's “blackout” scene, by The J.A.M., from “Death of a Comedian”
Dale getting hit and falling down the wall, by Aivars Liepa, from “A Fantasy General”
End of “Dogfight”, by The J.A.M., from “Death of a Comedian”
Finn: Very good. Mister Starfish!
::Mister Starfish, a piratical-looking starfish, emerges from off-stage and harpoons the envelope from the shocked stage hand, then reels it in and delivers it to Captain Finn::
Finn: And now, the winner…The J.A.M. for the End of “Dogfight”, “Death of a Comedian”.
¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!!
::Now, the band plays “Desesperada”. Dale, Foxglove, Otis, and Clarice follow the jaguar down to the podium::
Dale: But waitaminit, the end of the dogfight wasn’t the climax of the story!
Clarice: No, but it *was* almost as intense, darling.
Otis: Yeah. Falling down from that height isn’t something ANY bat wants to go through.
Foxy: Or ANY mammal.
Dale: Or a bird. Say, you-know-who isn’t here anymore?
::Foxy gives him a tender yet somber look::
Foxy: Not after what you did to her, Cute Stuff. I’ve never seen you so brave, not even when we fought Winifred.
::Dale smiles in return::
Dale: Hey, you were quite brave yourself, Foxy!
Otis: And you, Clarice, brought forth braveness in me I didn’t know I had!
Clarice: Thanks, darling. I guess the intensity of it all brought out the best from us?
Dale: And the Final Decision, too.
::Dale lowers his head, making everyone do the same and hush. Seeing that they had no more to say, the onça speaks::
J.A.M.: Hey, two in a row! Ultimate Circumstances like this don’t happen too often, and when they do, they show who you *really* are. And we all saw who *they* really are: two couples who love each other to the end. You can’t get much more loving than that! Thanks also to Aivars Liepa for writing an intense scene himself.
::Everyone took their award and as they left, the jaguar chanted again, “¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO!!! ¡¡¡MEXICO…!!!”::