::A puff of purple smoke envelops the stage, and an unseen character speaks mysteriously::

DW: I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the annoying itch that you can’t quite reach! I…AM—

 

::The smoke clears, to reveal DarkWing Duck staring at a bunch of confused Rangerphiles::

 

DW: …*so* in the wrong place. Okie, bye!

 

::DarkWing runs off the stage and is replaced by Tommy Chow, underhanded nephew of the nefarious villain in “Puffed Rangers” who was shrinking cars and smuggling them as toy prizes in boxes of Puffy Wuffy cereal::

 

Tommy: Well, that was certainly a bold entrance. I am pleased to be here, and to tell you that thanks to the Rangers’ influence I have now reformed. I am working as a supervisor in a legitimate car assembly plant now, and doing well. So, let me thank my friends by announcing the nominees for Best Dialogue Line or Quote.

 

Chip & Dale's heated argument, by The J.A.M., from Death of a Comedian (Chapter tessares)

Dale & Foxglove discipline the Batmunk, by The J.A.M., from I Dream of the New Ranger

Foxglove's argument on the second ending, by The J.A.M., from Let's Suppose Chip & Dale Behaved Slightly Differently After The Kidnapping

 

Tommy: Hmm, I wonder who could have won…

 

::The audience chuckles, as Tommy tears open the envelope::

 

Tommy. The J.A.M., for Chip&Dale's heated argument, from DoAC!

 

::The audience roars just as loud as the jaguar does::

 

J.A.M.:¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

¡¡¡¡¡GOL, GOL, GOL, GOL, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLL!!!!!

 

::He, Chris Silva, and the chipmunks run down to the stage, and the band plays “Little Girl”. Once there, the onça decide to wait for Chip and Dale to stop fighting for the microphone::

 

Dale: HeyIwannagivemyspeech!!

 

Chip: WaityourturndummyI’mtheleadersoIgettospeakfirst!!

 

Dale: Noyoudon’t!Thestorywasaboutme!

 

Chip: Itwasaboutallofus!

 

::Suddenly both chipmunks are silenced by two furry paws that clamp their mouths shut. The panther finally speaks::

 

J.A.M.: AHEM!!! Wow, THREE nominations!! What I *think* these two best of friends are trying to say is that they’re both REALLY happy that you voted for them. Any friendship has its snags, and when they pile up over time, a trauma can make things get ugly, but if the friendship is strong, like YOURS, GUYS—

 

::The chipmunks stop struggling and calm down, finally. The J.A.M. continues::

 

J.A.M.: —then it can survive, and come out cleansed and stronger than before, am I right, guys?

 

::He releases the chipmunks, and both remain hushed, as does the audience::

 

Dale: It was—it was intense.

 

Chip: And revealing. Dale, I wouldn’t have anyone else for a best friend.

 

Dale: Aww, shucks, Chip!!

 

::The chipmunks hug, and the jaguar hugs them both. The audience stands and roars, and a few cried as well::

 

J.A.M.: Also, I’d also like to thank most of all Christopher Silva, because he’s the one who originally wrote ‘Dale’s’ Lament’. I simply took Dale’s speech and adapted it to my story, so he deserves this award just as much. Chris, do you wanna say a few words?”

 

Chris: Thank you, J.A.M.  I'm glad you found my material helpful and I'm flattered you felt it good enough to be part of your epic story. 

 

::The four take their awards, give an elegant bow, and leave the stage. Tommy bows respectfully and exits. DarkWing is backstage at the buffet, fighting Dale to get to the Puffy Wuffies Krispies dessert tray::