::Indy and Rennod take the stage while the orchestra plays “From Russia With Love”. Indy is dressed in a tuxedo and his brown felt fedora, while Rennod is dressed in jeans and a dark t-shirt, wearing his trademark sunglasses. The crowd applauds as they approach the podium at the center of the stage, decorated with the Golden Acorn symbol on the front, and everyone settles down::
Indy: Welcome to the Golden Acorn Awards! Rennod and I are your hosts tonight. We’re glad to see such a wonderful turnout, and we know that tonight’s going to be a blast.
::The crowd applauds, then gasps in pleased wonder as stage
fireworks go off in a huge bang::
Rennod: See, we told you! Oh, and the reason we used “From Russia With Love” is that we’re opening with the International Awards first and that was the only song we could find sheet music for that even hit in the neighborhood of being Russian.
::A laugh ripples across the audience::
Indy: We’re pleased to welcome our Russian and other international friends who are joining us live from around the world, as well as watching live via satellite! Some of the countries represented in our worldwide community include Canada, Mexico, Great Britain, Russia, Latvia, Norway, the Netherlands, Germany, Australia and Japan!
::Applause breaks out, as a global map shows the countries with active Rangerphiles::
Indy: This ceremony wouldn’t be possible without the help of a lot of people, so let me take a few moments to recognize them. First, I’d like to thank this man right here, who took on much of the burden himself. Rennod handled the nominations and vote-collecting solo, as well as notifying the winners.
Rennod: Hey, glad to help out, you know.
Indy: Then there’s all the people who agreed to be presenters tonight—you’ll find the bulk of the Rangerphile community represented here, as well as fanfiction characters and characters from the majority of the Ranger episodes. Among the Rangerphiles, I’d particularly like to recognize Karl, John Nowak, Painless Doc Johnson, CD, and SomeGhol, who each gave their time for extra presentations to assure everything would be done on time today.
::More applause as the spotlight finds each Rangerphile Indy mentions::
Rennod: Well, you didn’t come to hear us, so let’s get down to business, shall we? We’ve asked a bunch of the characters from the Rescue Rangers show to help us out, so we’ll turn the show over to them now.
::From the announcer’s booth, a bespectacled bat speaks. It’s Dr. Batorious, the kind doctor from “Untold Ranger Tales”. He speaks in his deep and smooth voice, sounding uncannily like James Earl Jones::
Dr. Batorious: And now, the first award of the Golden Acorn Awards, Best Website Maintainer…
::The stage shakes with the weight of an elephant stomping it, entering from stage left. It’s Colonel Captain, the leader of the elephants from the episode “An Elephant Never Suspects”. The big pachyderm settles in front of the podium and one of the zoo monkeys comes out and adjusts the microphone for him. Behind him the big screen displays the words, “Best Website Maintainer” in large print. The elephant speaks, with a gruff but proper military tone::
Colonel: Ah yes, very good. At ease, everyone!
::The crowd salutes, and sits down—oh yes, they’d been standing because the Colonel had shaken them out of their seats::
Colonel: Now, no chicanery while I’m on duty. I’m here to deliver this Golden Acorn Award for Best Website Maintainer, and I intend to see that discipline is maintained! Very good, to the nominees then…
::The monkey opens the envelope with the winner’s name in it, handed to him by a trusty stage hand, and holds it up for the elephant to read::
Colonel: Yes now, let’s see…by thunder, they could make this print easier to read!
::Colonel Captain stomps in emphasis, shaking the entire stage. The monkey saves the golden trophy on the podium from falling::
Colonel: Ah, now I have it. The winner is Ruslan!
::The audience applauds, and from stage left comes Chip, who opens a piece of paper as he reaches the podium::
Chip: Ruslan couldn’t be here with us tonight—his plane was snowbound at the airport—so I’m accepting this award on his behalf. Ruslan said to say it is a great honor to be chosen and he’ll try to remember not to use it as a doorstop…
::Chip looks up and chuckles a little, then takes the award. Colonel Captain and the monkey head off with him, shaking the stage once again::